I am still Learning...

For the past month or so... I have been keeping something from a special someone...

I know she will be upset not knowing the truth... but i still feel, knowing the truth will only make her more sad... when i tell her the truth, will she cry? will it be tears of sadness or touched? I do not know... i am really lost...

I know that by hiding the truth to her, she will feel even more upset... but at the same time i dun want to lose a very close and special friend..

I know there is no such thing as a perfect timing... but i am finding a 'gd' time to not make her feel very upset. Waiting too long is also no good... haiz..

I dun want her to be sad and disappointed in me... but she is already very disappointed in me for belittling her... the thing is that I never belittle her at all...haiz..

I know I been giving to her too much and saying too much "Sorry" and "It's my fault" but believe me, when i said all these, they are true. I dun minced my words like other guys...

But if there were anything i want to say to that someone... I am still Learning... I need to learn things the hard way... she has always been very patient... this is not an excuse... i am learning from this experience...