Frustrated...

Today i was very frustrated...haiz...

It's hard being me... ppl always expect me to be the the usual interactive, fun and super duper lively me. Anything less, and I will be classified weird... and my friends will be bombarding me with questions..."Are you ok?" "Today, you weird leh.."

I understand their concerns.. But Cant I have an off day? Cant i just listen to my friends quietly and not talk...? Why cant I? And when I am dead serious... ppl still think that i am not serious...haiz... I am used to this 'serious' issue... to a certain certain that i dun try to be serious anymore... no point..

I really dun want the publicity nor do i dwell on it... I already said that i am an introvert by nature... only when the circumstances come... then I am forced to be an 'extrovert'...

An incident that happened in my sec sch was something that i really did not want to happen.. but it happened.. and i really handled it badly... it got me FAMOUS... but it was something i wished i could avoid.. every movement i made... was being watched... ppl might think i love it... but in true fact... i hate it.. no freedom... everywhere i go, ppl will ask me abt that someone or associate me with her... my relationship with her was so bad... that we did not talk and she avoided me... to be honest... i was very sad!!! I could only like her from looking far... anything close... and she would 'run away'. And everynight before i sleep, i will always think of her... haiz... enough say abt her... its in the past.. nothing i can do to will make the past different... she moved on... i need to move on, should have gotten her msg, guess i was STUPID.

I really hope that i dun quarrel again with this dear friend of mine anymore...it pains my heart to see us quarrel ...haiz... dunnoe what to say nor what to do...and when i say something 'enlightening' and u say..."Wah..u know ar? Why nv say?" I know it very well... but u nv gave me a chance to fully explain it leh... u will go on and on saying the bad things abt me... blah blah.. haiz...dunnoe lah... frustrated..